Watch your excessive use of commas – you inserted some where they did not belong. XXX I was not impressed by your overly-flowery style. Watch your excessive use of commas – you inserted some where they did not belong. 1 s«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 10:41:06I thought that this story was FAR too verbose. 1 s«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 10:41:06I thought that this story was FAR too verbose. You tried to fill every sentence with as many words as you could – as if you were being paid by the word. Descriptive is good but you went way too far. 1 s«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 10:41:06I thought that this story was FAR too verbose. 1 s«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 10:41:06I thought that this story was FAR too verbose. You tried to fill every sentence with as many words as you could – as if you were being paid by the word.
