Sorry, but, as a virgin, you just seem to know too much!anonymous readerReport 2012-11-11 08:56:41You switch between third person and first person seemingly at random. He shares a bed with her when he’s not relegated to the couch- but is a virgin? XXX But there’s still plenty of room for improvement.«1» It’s not quite wall of text, you did break it up after the first long paragraph. But it would be easier to read with a blank line after each paragraph. But it would be easier to read with a blank line after each paragraph. A member of your family?!? On the other hand, you’ve mentioned that this is a true story… He shares a bed with her when he’s not relegated to the couch- but is a virgin?
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